But then I cooled down a little and realized that mostly I just feel pity for this guy. Because that much hatred toward women is generally a by-product of an abusive or negative upbringing. Possibly even sexual abuse, judging by his apparent obsession with penises. Likely his mom wasn’t able to give him the care or attention he (or any child) deserved, and if there was a father figure, he probably wasn’t a great role model.
If they struggled financially (which seems likely from this guy’s rant – he was very focused on sex for profit), that would have added an additional layer of bricks to the giant wall he’d need to overcome in life. A recently-released decades-long study found that poverty is actually more dangerous to a child than being born to a crack-addicted mother.
The odds were likely stacked against him, and he’s internalized that insecurity and fear and is now projecting it on anyone who might seem ‘weaker’ than him. He thinks that by stilting my agency or quieting my voice, he’ll somehow compensate for his own lack of control over his own situation. Sadly, it’s not a zero-sum game. Shutting me up (which, by the way, isn’t going to happen) will not give you more voice or more power.
And people like this are why, despite my soul-deep passion for reproductive justice, I currently work for mental health care access. Every child should be a wanted child, but if they’re not, they should have access to the care they need to overcome the mental shackles of emotional or physical abuse.
One in four people will face a mental health care issue in their lifetime, and 75% of the complaints people present to their primary care provider have no biological basis. This is the Achilles Heel of our society – we spend so much time and money treating the results, but we never address the actual cause. We need to be able to get help to the people who need it, before it manifests as a chronic physical issue and before they start taking their pain out on others.
So actually, thank you, Mr. MRA Troll, because I was in a little bit of a writing rut before your comment. And now I realize that I do have so much more to say. And I’m going to keep saying it, both because of you and FOR you, because maybe one day, you’ll benefit from the very voices you’re trying to snuff out.