Thursday, November 15, 2012

Why I'm an Ass


Mitt Romney, who may actually have emerged from the 1850s just in time for this Presidential election season, still has not figured out that things said near recording devices are often – in fact - recorded. Fortunately for us, he’s a Republican, so he’s the Only. One. Responsible. if he keeps touching that hot stove over and over and over and over again.

This time, he told a group of donors that President Obama won reelection because he “focused on giving targeted groups [blacks, Hispanics and young voters] a big gift.” You know, I really thought there was a chance Republicans might have learned something from this election, but it turns out assuming really did make an Ass out of me.


Also? I’m young. So where’s my gift?? I was hoping for a Chloe bag, but I guess I’ll settle for personal autonomy and the right to control my own reproduction. Oh look, an emergency hospital visit that won’t send me into crippling debt. So practical. Thanks, Uncle Barry.

Those gifts he’s talking about? Some of us like to call them “recognition of our basic humanity and rights as American citizens.” Yeah, I get it, “gifts” is less of a mouthful. And naturally, cognitive dissonance firmly aside, the tax breaks Romney promised to the wealthy wouldn’t have been gifts. Because Rich White Men have Earned It. It’s not a “gift” if you claim God ordained it.

Psst, Republicans: The path to wooing minority voters is still not down Keep Calling Them Moochers Lane.

When you run a race and lose, blaming the other guy for training harder and having better equipment and being more athletically-gifted than you doesn’t help you win the next time around. You know what does? Figuring out what you did wrong the first time and fixing it. There’s a lesson in here somewhere, Republicans… 

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