No, that’s not raw, butchered meat or ground up watermelon; that’s my knee. Or rather, what’s left of it after the concrete got through with it. Yes, Ms. Epitome of Grace and Style over here went flying headfirst off a bicycle on the side of a very busy road. Lots of gawkers. Lots and lots of gawkers.
I wish I could say I was swerving to avoid a car, or to save the life of a small, innocent child, but really, I just miscalculated the lip of a stupid curb. Honestly, I might have recovered, except I was wearing a fully-loaded backpack, and once I started to fall, the momentum of that thing coming up over my head just catapulted me face first into the ground.
It’s amazing how something can happen so fast, yet entirely in slow motion at the same time. I felt like I was watching my face smash into the concrete for a good solid 5 minutes, yet I didn’t even have a chance to get my hand up to protect my face.
My nose, which may or may not be broken – for the life of me, I cannot remember if that bump has always been there – and my right knee got the worst of it. Now I wish I wasn’t always so determined to be photographed with giant sunglasses that hide half my face – I have nothing to compare the current, swollen bridge of my nose to. Learn from my mistakes, people – make sure you know exactly what your nose looks like, just in case you ever decide to smash it against the ground.
My pain tolerance for injuries that involve mangled skin and bright red blood is apparently non-existent. When I fractured my neck at age 13 falling off a horse, I was straight up stoic- didn’t shed a single tear. The neck brace I wore for a couple months was badass. But show me a skinned knee and I’m sitting on the curb, blubbering, waiting for Boyfriend to come walk me the rest of the way home.
I think it’s because this is not a cool injury. Falling off a horse and breaking your neck, or having a horse fall on you and bust up your knee – those are pretty sick injuries. Even a dislocated rib from a car accident that wasn’t your fault is pretty awesome. People are like ‘wow, you’re so brave!’
No one thinks you’re brave if you can’t competently steer a bike.
Now I just have to decide if we can/should still go up to NYC this weekend. I’m really not relishing the thought of sitting on a crowded bus, feeling insanely car sick, and throbbing all over for 4 hours, then trying to walk all around the city for 3 days with a limp and a cut up face. Not to mention that my fashion choices are now limited to long dresses that cover the yards of gauze I’ve used to hide the battle wounds from sight.
Ugh… why do I have to be so freakin’ accident prone??